Since I was six years old I was raised to understand that the national team of Jamaica at the World Cup is Jamaica. If the Reggae Boyz, (Jamaica’s actual national team) are not playing, we are cheering for Brazil. The beauty of Brazilian football is something I always admired. The beautiful footwork that looked like samba on the field was a show all by itself. I grew up watching Ronaldo and on the legendary status of Pelé. I remember the feeling of excitement watching Ronaldi

This Mother’s Day, I have been giving a lot of thought to the lessons my mother taught me both explicitly and by example. Though I will not see her in person this year, I thought it was important to share some the questions I have about her as I have my own journey to understanding her as a whole human being rather than a mere figure in my life. I tell the people around me that our lives as children entail one truth: Our parents have existed as long as we have and therefore

As it is Men’s Mental Health Month and this issue appears to be front of mind for many, I decided to share some thoughts about the male loneliness epidemic. As a therapist, I see the unfiltered sides of all my clients. The men I work with share their deepest fears, their darkest thoughts and their most closely guarded secrets. I see men in an unfiltered way because of this. Scrolling through social media, one would believe that ALL heterosexual men are complaining about how

I, like most other people on the planet, am watching in abject horror as the constant barrage of awful events unfolds before our helpless eyes. I know that this is a much darker start to my blog than usual but, this is a very weird time to be alive. Since 2020, the population of earth has been subjected to non-stop chaos and trauma inducing events. The COVID-19 pandemic, the climatically disastrous fire in the Amazon rainforest, numerous wars, geo-political instability and un

I want to start this piece by acknowledging my dear friend Stefanie Krasnow who encouraged me to write this in the first place. She has been in my life for ten years and has been there through some of the darkest and most confusing times in my life. She is an amazing therapist, colleague and friend. I have been pondering the experiences of middle-aged heterosexual women who are either newly single, never married or in non-traditional relationships. As a therapist, I have th

It is a well-established fact that the systemic nature of patriarchy has been used to subjugate women for millennia. Articles, podcasts and many other forms of media acknowledge this fact in every space known to modern homo sapiens. Patriarchy has been used to justify the murder of women, (Salem witch trials is one example), the over-sexualization of women (painting Black women as “inherent whores” during Slavery), the dehumanization of women, (viewing women as “adult childre

I took a few months away from any creative output as I have had to manage major changes in my own life. However, in that time I have still sat with Black women as clients and in my own life and listened to the same theme arising over and over. When asked “how are you doing?” the inevitable response is “Girl, I am so tired”. I have heard this statement repeated to me so many times that I have come to expect it when I ask the question. I have even heard myself say it several ti

A very treasured friend of mine had as his handle on social media for years the statement “love people, not things”. I always admired his genuine concern for his fellow human and have never forgotten the countless acts of kindness he engaged in for no other reason than the fact that he believed in practicing what he preaches. To be clear, this critical thinking friend is not particularly religious. Instead, he is a deeply spiritual person who is concerned with the meaning of

Vancouver, British Columbia is one of the most picturesque cities anywhere. When the entire area called Metro Vancouver is considered, (which includes other cities like Burnaby, New Westminster and Surrey), the population is approximated at 2.48 million people. I came to Vancouver as part of my journey to change careers from teaching to becoming a therapist and marveled at the number of green spaces and the beautiful mountain views of North Vancouver. I learned quickly that t

Dear Jamaica, Happy Independence Day. It has been sixty years since we first raised the flag of Jamaica and ended our status as a British colony. We have had many ups and downs since then but, the unbreakable spirit of the Jamaican people endured. I would like to express to you my deeply felt emotions towards you on this significant occasion as well as my genuine hopes for your future. You continue to make us proud in so many ways. No matter where I land in the world, even in

Many, many years ago, I worked in hospitality in a capacity that required me to be on call 24/7. This meant that no matter what time I was called upon to execute my duties, I was expected to do so without complaint and at the highest levels of efficiency. I have distinct memories of sitting at my desk crying at 2:00 am because although my shift ended hours earlier, reports needed to be written or I would face embarrassment and harsh consequences for “not getting it done”. I h

Shortly after my return to Canada, I was having a conversation with one of my friends from Vancouver. I was sharing with her what it was like for me to go back to the Caribbean for the entirety of winter for the first time ever. People who do this annually are called “Snow Birds”. Essentially, people who cannot tolerate, (or simply do not like), winter in North America leave for the duration of winter for warmer climates in much the same manner as migratory birds. For me, who

The region of the globe referred to as “the Caribbean” comprises of a number of countries who share the colonial experience of being...

Today, I had yet another conversation with a client about the unfair expectations of their family members of eternal financial support simply because my client is the most financially stable member of the entire family, known as the “Black Tax”. This is the fourth such conversation I have had this week with clients and friends. Trevor Noah explained the concept of the Black Tax beautifully and acknowledges that his mother, just like mine, gave him the gift of not having to ca

I recently had a scary episode with a stress induced migraine that mimicked a stroke. I share this to make the point that prolonged stress can do a number on our physical health and, during this eternally long pandemic experience, we can all agree that every single person on the planet is experiencing some degree of chronic stress. People who have worked at the front lines of this pandemic, (including therapists who are emotional frontline workers), are burnt out. Most of us

After a delay of twelve months on account of the COVID-19 pandemic, professional sporting events have finally resumed in 2021. These...

A few weeks ago, my beloved partner lost his grandfather. This week, my family lost an aunt who had just turned 90. It is as if an entire generation has taken its leave as I am hearing so many of these reports. Having lost a few friends and relatives in the past 18 months, (one to COVID-19) and still coping with the grief of losing a father figure suddenly in 2019, I have not only experienced but heard of too many cases of well-intentioned people saying very insensitive thing

I have been noticing an ever-increasing trend towards encouraging “positive thinking” and “living from abundance”. This shows up in...