It’s Time to Talk About Workplace Bullying: Naming it is Step One

This topic has been banging around in my mind for a number of months as I have had several clients and people in my personal life reporting what they term as “difficult behaviour” by coworkers and supervisors. They are usually stunned into horrified silence when I tell them that what they are describing is workplace bullying. NO ONE wants to readily admit that they are being bullied because most of us see ourselves as either strong and capable or, we fawn in the hopes that our people-pleasing tendencies will protect us from harm in an office context. In some cases, (and often rightly so), we are worried that our supervisors will find reasons to have us fired in order to replace us with more malleable people. However, it is time that we talk openly about what workplace bullying look like and how to name it. Naming it is step one in determining what action we can take to protect ourselves.

Before we explore the matter further, it is essential that we are all functioning with a common definition of what workplace bullying is. According to the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety’s website, workplace bullying is “usually seen as acts or verbal comments that could psychologically or 'mentally' hurt or isolate a person in the workplace. Sometimes, bullying can involve negative physical contact as well. Bullying usually involves repeated incidents or a pattern of behaviour that is intended to intimidate, offend, degrade or humiliate a particular person or group of people. It has also been described as the assertion of power through aggression.” (For the full article, see here). In British Columbia, WorkSafe BC’s website defines workplace bullying as “A worker is bullied and harassed when someone takes an action that they knew or reasonably ought to have known would cause that worker to be humiliated or intimidated.” It identifies acts of workplace bullying to include “verbal aggression or insults, calling someone derogatory names, harmful hazing or initiation practices, vandalizing personal belongings, and spreading malicious rumours.” Similar sentiments can be found in Ontario’s Occupational Health and Safety Act (link here). This is obviously not solely a Canadian problem by any means. The Jamaica Observer published an article about the rise of “workplace incivility” as there is clear recognition that this problem exists in Jamaica as well.

As someone who has experienced this type of bullying several times over the course of my working life, I know it well. It is absolutely the reason I chose to take a leap of faith and change careers so that I did not have to face the very likely possibility of being bullied by a power drunk, (often barely competent), supervisor ever again. It is the reason I am able to identify it when others report it to me and it informs the manner in which I hold space for the person telling about their experience.

Talking about workplace sexual harassment is outside the scope of this piece. I fully intend to cover it in another one later since there is a LOT to say there. This piece focuses on some of the more common forms that I, my clients and people in my personal life have experienced. Here are some examples of workplace bullying. Unfortunately, this is NOT an exhaustive list at all.

1.    Verbal Aggression, Yelling and Use of Profanity

It is NEVER appropriate to shout at a co-worker or supervisee unless you are telling them to get out of the way of physical danger. It is an act of public disrespect which is intended to express dominance over another person. It results in the person feeling intimidated, ashamed and psychologically distressed. This does not a healthy work environment make. Supervisors who engage in this abhorrent display are advertising their terrible people skills and lack of appropriate management capacity. Such a person should never be allowed to operate unchecked as their tendency for tyrannical behaviour is only ever likely to intensify until they are forced to behave in a more appropriate manner.

Using personal attacks and assaults on character are also acts of bullying in the workplace. Critiquing someone’s work as a supervisor is part of the job however, when belittling language is used, (e.g. “what are you stupid?”), it becomes bullying.

There is a CLEAR distinction between correcting someone’s work or reviewing their performance and bullying them. The former refers to feedback intended to promote higher levels of performance by the supervisee in which there is a recognition that everyone has a learning curve or that people are human and occasionally err. It seeks to promote the supervisee’s use of their strengths and the support to help them address areas of growth. The latter is about undermining and character assassination.

I once worked in an environment in which the “head honcho” could often be heard screaming at her supervisees so loudly that people could hear it on a whole other floor of the building. It was embarrassing to the person being berated in this way and promoted a culture of silence and fear among the rest of the workforce. Although this behaviour was never directed at me, I totally understood how distressing it was to those who were victims of it. What that person did not realize is that her supervisees complied with her demands not out of respect, (everyone hated her), but out of fear of retaliation.

2.    Spreading Malicious Rumours, Gossip or Innuendo

This one is very psychologically damaging as no one wants to be talked about in disparaging terms. It is not surprising that the implications of this would include a lot of emotional pain to the victim. Since negative information spreads faster than positive information, it becomes virtually impossible to correct this situation once the proverbial arrow has already left the bow.

These rumours can follow the person into subsequent roles since people within an industry tend to talk. Even if the person secures employment in another company, they may constantly worry about it either happening again or that the rumour mill’s long tentacles will reach them in their new position.

3.    Social Exclusion and Isolation

This is what happens when the insecure “mean girls” in high school enter the workforce. They tend to form cliques which isolate those deemed “unsuitable” based on ever changing metrics. This happens with far greater regularity than one would think. These workplace cliques, just like in a high school, usually have a “ring leader” who manages to influence those around them to see other people as less intelligent, capable, and valuable to the organization.

These professional bullies tend to “discourage” inclusion of people they deem to be unworthy and punish those in their clique for socializing with them. It creates a very covertly hostile environment for the target as the bully has systematically isolated them from their co-workers damaging otherwise healthy collegial relationships in the process.

It is not uncommon for anyone who attempts to call out the behaviour, (whether part of the clique or not), or protect the target to meet harshly punitive action themselves. This insidious form of abuse makes it difficult for anyone to call out because of the fear of reprisal from the bully who usually holds a lot of hierarchical power. This dictatorial approach to management is immature and insecure. No one respects a “leader” who engages in this childish behaviour.

4.    Denial of Opportunities for Advancement and the Creation of Justifications for it

Most people in a work context want to know that their hard work results in advancement. This is what Maslow referred to as the self-actualizing tendency among humans, (for a full explanation of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, see here). When someone is actively prevented from accessing training opportunities, higher rungs on the hierarchy or pay increases despite meeting all the requirements, it is demoralizing.

Examples of this play out in a number of ways. Being told that one is “not ready” for a management position despite the fact that they have been doing most of the duties of that position is a classic way that this occurs. It makes the person in question doubt their abilities rather than see it for the gaslighting it is. The truth is that the bully simply does not want the target to achieve beyond where THEY think they should. They may actively discourage the target from even applying for the position or may undermine their application for promotion by refusing to support it.

Acknowledging the target’s value to the team until the moment the target asks for a compensation review and then flaw finding is another presentation of this tactic. It is not uncommon for the target to be considered the “star” of the team until they decide to ask for a raise, a perk or something else that would normally accompany accolades. Once they “dare” to ask, they are then blindsided by the complete shift in treatment where suddenly, they cannot do anything right.

5.    Setting Unreasonable Workloads and Impossible Standards

This means encroaching on an employee’s ability to balance their professional and personal lives. Some organizations glorify a culture of overworking and encourage people to see the hours of free labour they are giving the company as “opportunities for advancement later” and “commitment to the job”. Some industries lend themselves to the development of this type of dysfunctional and exploitative ethos. Medicine, law, media, and hospitality come to mind easily but this is so common in large corporate spaces.

Often, people are contracted to provide 40 hours of work per week, (contract terms depending). However, there are some employers who are notorious for extracting several hours of unpaid labour from employees and, if they are at management level, they likely do not get paid overtime. All this free labour is usually uncompensated and, as the employee’s personal life, mental health and physical wellbeing crumble, they are shamed for taking sick leave.

Employees are often too afraid to not comply with this culture of overworking, (which is really exploitation), for fear of not gaining access to chances for upward mobility or criticism from an eternally critical supervisor. This too is bullying since one is punished for simply enforcing the conditions of work in the contractual agreement with the organization.

Unfortunately, there are so many other ways to bully someone at work. Some of those issues are clear cut and easy to identify but many are insidious, flying under the radar but nevertheless damaging. In August of 2022, I addressed the need for all of us to set boundaries at work. The link to that post is here. I want to encourage everyone to revisit their relationship with their employer and remind yourselves that it is a TRANSACTIONAL one.

One of the things I felt the need to state unequivocally is that we are NOT our occupations. The tendency of people to overly identify with their jobs or professions makes us vulnerable to bullying by an insecure, immature, entitled and often petulant adult. Once we learn to detach from our occupations as a key feature of identity, it becomes much easier to see bullying for what it is. If we can do that, we can collectively decide not to stand for it.

The enduring lesson from the sandbox or high school cafeteria is this: staring down a bully, (especially collectively), often neutralizes them. If everyone decides that enough is enough and we band together, no bully will be able to continue to target or terrorize anyone.